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Rants and Articles.

August 29, 2004

I was eight when I got my very first, honest-to-god computer. It was a Commodore 64, which I’d been ogling for the better part of a year, ever since I became mistyfied by my first encounter with a computer mouse. Computers were going to change the face of the Earth back then, you see? We were all going to become millionaires if we got into computing.

Commodore 64 Prompt

It was bullshit, but it was very appealing bullshit, and we all bought it. Liked it, too.

Mothers drove in hordes to enroll their kids in computer classes. I begged my parents to get me in on the digital revolution that was going to shape the future.

Of course they couldn’t refuse.

The school’s name was “Galileo Center”. They had small branches strewn all over the country and a cheap tie-in TV programme that aired Saturday mornings and featured kids competing in games of manic miner and jetpac for paltry prizes and promotions. Considering the air of campiness that surrounded it, it was surprisingly competent as a programming school. I did Karel. I did LOGO. I did BASIC, Graphic BASIC and Pascal.

Many years later I found myself using an utterly new thing called the internet. Unlike computers themselves, the world-changing potential of this newfangled stuff wasn’t that apparent. Its main purpose seemed to be allowing anti-social geeks like myself to download the full script to all of Monty Python’s movies, ASCII porn (yes, there was such a thing) and engage in virtual text battles inside imaginary worlds.

But it changed things all right. It started a new dialogue among like minded individuals. A truly remarkable feat if I’ve ever seen one. I’m not talking about your grandmother who emails her niece and sends pictures via the mail thingie in her home computer. I’m talking about those of us who work with the very infrastructure of this new beast. Those who couldn’t possibly conceive a day without the internet. We. The compulsive Slashdot refreshers, the boingboingers, the acronym-gobblers, the architects and designers and programmers whose very livelihood is dependent on the flow of ones and zeroes.

Our words are bits and our statements are programs. We have come to know each other’s bugs and learned to cope with them. We have resisted authority. We have lost and we have won. We have found ways to beat the system and we have developed altogether new systems to cope with our ever-increasing desire for information. Because information, its free flow and its sharing is what will ultimately make a difference in this Big Old World™.

That, and porn.

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August 17, 2004

title -- El oscuro

True to form, I’ve taken eons to actually post the translation for my article in the Sensacional de blogs magazine. Here it is now:

The dark one

July 10. 2003

Torrential rain pounded the city all through the day. The unbearable traffic drove drivers crazy, and while their cars stranded I watched with delight and enjoyed cold nutrition (Vanilla ice cream from Bing). Cold. Like my soul.

The whole spectacle was depressing. It was as if the weather knew of my arrival. The arrival of… THE DARK ONE!!!

That will be my identity for this blog. This will avoid endangering those close to me when my opinions make the people in the high spheres of power nervous.

The dark one says goodbye for today. Have horrible dreams… MUAHAAHHAAHA!

July 12. 2003

As I meditated about the best ways of torturing and upsetting a squirrel (but I just meditated, because it’s not good killing squirrels, heehehehee) I came upon the realization that my voice now carries tremendous power. Having an online influence like mine begets responsibility. Although I can’t deny that my influence would be ultimately benefical for society, which definitely needs guidance.

I have decided, therefore, to reveal my vote for the upcoming elections, amply convinced that thousands of loyal followers will feel relieved from the pressure of having to think by themselves.

Vote for the Rooster party. One of the Dark One’s friends is involved in it, and I assure you that any guy that plays The Masquerade and is in the process of becoming a Vampire by means of arcane rituals that involve huge amounts of garlic knows what he’s doing.

I bid farewell!

July 15. 2003

The Rooster party didn’t win anything. Frankly, loyal readers, I’m disappointed. I can only attribute this failure to your lack of commitment. Although I have to admit that I, the Dark One, couldn’t attend the voting booth either, I assure you that there are ample and powerful reasons of great importance for that.

Besides, the booth was too far away and my sister wouldn’t take me there in the car. Puerile woman. When the Dark One’s mother allows him use of the car your only use will cease!

July 18. 2003

Great news! I’ve found the way to allow comments in my blog! Now you can tell the Dark One what you think!

I’m going to sleep, but I have high hopes for this. I hope my server can take the load.

July 19. 2003

3 comments in yesterday’s post! Allow me to answer each:

Vi.Agr.a On-li.ne: The Dark One does not need such things. I assure you that my sexual prowess is equiparable to that of a rhinoceros.

Sexxy-Debbie: I visited your site, as per your suggestion. I don’t know if you’re aware of this, but in most of your pictures you’re shown with very little clothing. Please contact me by email.

John: Thanks. I think my site is very nice and pretty too (I made a big effort choosing special colors for the template, and even had to learn eichteeemel, which is a l33t programming language for the internet). Curious, that your name is linked to a porn site. Are you that site’s wesmaster?

July 20. 2003

Debbie, John, Vi.Agr.a and hu.GeCock.s, please stop leaving comments. I believe you’ve said your peace and we don’t need more reaffirmation.

July 21. 2003

I find myself in the distressing necessity of closing comments in the blog, due to the fact that I’ve attracted obsessive commenters who leave more than 100 comments a day (curiously enough, all of them appear to be wesmasters of pr0n sites).

The price of fame.

July 22. 2003

Today I received my very first hate mail from an envious individual who spews lots of silliness. In here, I transcribe my 20-page dissertation wherein I completely obliterate his arguments. I’m sure he’ll seat to cry in a dark corner of his lonely room when he reads this.

[…]

July 23. 2003

To Billy Baker, who sent me the hate mail and subsequently had so much fun showing my answer around the classroom at the UNI: Drop dead.

I want to leave irrevocable record here in the Interweb, that I saw Billy Baker peeing on the bushes outside the UNI the other day.

That’ll teach you to make fun of my trenchcoat and eyeshadow, Billy Baker!

July 25. 2003

Rejoice! Today I have decided to share an unpublished piece of poetry by the Dark One! Although I don’t want to point accusatorial fingers, I am aware that many would love to steal my poetry, so I’ve decided to send it only to those who request it to my email address (thedarkone1524@hotmail.com)

July 26. 2003

I think there’s something wrong with my email address. Since apparently I’m not getting your requests for the poem I’ve decided to share it here:


THE SHADOW

A menacing shadow creeps
and much terror it reaps

That shadow that scares you
that shadow,
            is
               me.


August 5. 2003.

Billy Baker printed copies of my blog and handed them out at the UNI. Everybody laughed.

This blogging thing fucking sucks.

———————————-

THIS DOMAIN NAME (www.darkone-James-Howard-at-the-UNI.com) HAS EXPIRED AND IS AVAILABLE FOR PURCHASE FROM Internic - FOR INFO PLEASE CONTACT US AT…

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August 10, 2004

As much as I talk here about my gruesome habits or obsessive compulsive behavior, I rarely touch upon what is actually happening in my life at any one time, as I have no interest in turning this place into a “dear diary” kind of thing.

Howeveeer…

Apple Logo. Think Different

So many things have happened lately that it’s time for an update.

Firstly: New job — fucking awesome. I’ll be developing a number of websites for a corporate group that dates back as far as 1908, as well as working out rules of engagement for all web related company endeavours. This fills me with no small amount of glee. I constantly catch myself browsing web design related sites and thinking Mmmhh… I should stop wasting time and get to work…, only to realize that now this is my work!!!. Lovely, huh?

The work site is Apple only. Now, on first notice, you may peg me as a Mac hater of sorts, but I assure you that is a common misconception. I actually love the little buggers ever since they slapped a lickable interface over Unix. Opening a terminal to type “ls” every once in a while has become one of my new rituals.

Regarding the ‘puter at work: Used to be a 450 Mhz G4 with 640 Mb Ram and an 80 Gb HD running Panther (Sekhmet). I don’t know if it was my PC karma, but it crapped out in a week. Apps crashed, kernel extensions bonkered and even Flash and Java went awol (On hindsight, it may have been an ill-fated decision to name her after a goddess of destruction). So she has been replaced by Hathor, a 733 Mhz G4 with the 21” Apple CRT (“turtle”). The package includes one of those nifty buttonless rodents Apple makes (I keep fighting the urge to take a bite from it).

Hathor is running beautifully, and has already been subjected to the addition of Quicksilver, Desktop Manager and, of course, Firefox. Unlike Sekhmet, this one has a video card that supports Quartz Extreme (that would be the flim flam velocinator). It feels like running through fields full of candy coated strippers, I shit you not.

At home, my lowly GeForce 2 has been replaced with a sleek ATI All In Wonder 9700 PRO. After a false start in which I almost burned my processor due to overheating (note to self: Always check how tight cabling is around the processor fan, and never ignore screeching sounds coming from the ‘puter), I find myself selling my soul to Far Cry, and enjoying every minute of it. Whereas in the Geforce it looked like regurgitated dogshit, now it looks like what can only be described as a visual handjob of the most prurient persuasion. I had already become pretty good at getting headshots on the 4 pixel tall squiggly lines that I figured out were soldiers, but now the little buggers are actually scary. I won’t discuss the trigens save to assure you that they are the stuff that fills my nightmares.

Other news: Read Neverwhere. Fucking loved it. Reading Stranger in a Strange Land. Grokking it. Doing major rehaul of room furniture and life habits. Thinking seriously about restarting work on the comic.

Oh… and we have free coffee at work. freecoffee freecoffee freecoffee freecoffee. Right now theworldisablur and I’m standinginthemiddleofitall. It’s beautiful.

And that’s about it.

sergio at 12:50 PM  permalink   Comments (21)   TrackBack (0)

August 01, 2004

Aficionados que viven la emoción del Blog!

A partir de este momento, sumérgete en la emoción de un auténtico encontronazo entre algunos de los bloggers made-in-mexico más aventados, dándose con todo para demostrar a una de tres caídas, quien es quien en eso de la blogueada.

7 Estetas del hipertexto enfrentándose encarnizadamente con espectaculares lances, llaves, mordidas, piquetes de ojos… Corre por tu ejemplar del espectacular, único, increíble, sofisticado y quizá irrepetible… Sensacional de Blogs #2

Sensacional de Blogs #2

Pídelo a tu voceador

_________________

For english speakers: This is an announcement for a humorous PDF magazine that a few mexican bloggers and me have put together, and which sports wondrous graphic design skills by Armando Sosa.

The magazine title is a jab on seedy serials that are all the rage in México (the #2 is just to fuck with people’s minds). Sadly, the mag is Spanish only, but I’ll translate my article later and republish it here for non-spanish speakers.

Enjoy!

sergio at 09:21 PM  permalink   Comments (12)   TrackBack (0)

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